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Attention
Deficit Disorder / Attention Deficit Hyperactive Disorder [ADD /
ADHD]
Advice to Families
Some of the issues relevant to dealing with this problem can include:
Responsibility
All of us need to feel competent, able to take on lifes many
responsibilities. Therefore, it is risky to view your child as hopelessly
irresponsible because of his/her disability. it renders both you
and your child powerless. On the contrary, parents need to encourage
their children to accept responsibility for themselves. In turn,
children who are respected by adults are more likely to feel self-confident
and competent.
Competency
Family members of children diagnosed with ADD or ADHD often report
experiencing a loss of their own coping and competency skills. Family
members need to seek ways to rebuild their own confidence, competency
and self-worth. These ways may include conversations with extended
family, friends, and/or professionals, all of whom can help family
members reconnect with their own talents and skills. One of the
major effects of ADD or ADHD is the undermining of self-confidence
and the competency of family members. In order to succeed there
must be a rebuilding of confidence, competency, and self-worth for
all family members.
Support
Most of us need the support of our family and friends. This is
especially true with difficult situations. Our children cannot solve
all their problems on their own. They need to know they havea support
from competent, caring people (family, friends, teachers) who can
help them deal with the problem--and not see them as the problem.
Parenting issues
When difficulties arise with our children, we inevitably judge
ourselves as caregivers and parents. We may wonder: have we done
the right thing?. Did we do enough? Too much?, Did our partners
do the right/ wrong thing? What more could we have done?
But perhaps it is equally beneficial to ask ourselves the following
questions:
- What effect has my childs problem had on how I feel about
myself?
- How has it affected how I feel about my child? My partner?
- How distressed am I?
- Am I finding ways to avoid my feelings of anger, bitterness,
disappointment, resentment and/or fear?
- Should my reactions be address in their own right?
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