 Grief
and Loss
Facing the death of a partner
Facing a partner's death is one problem most of us would prefer
not to have to understand. We spend our lives in search of a soul
mate with whom to build a life. We share our dreams, experience
and possessions, shaping an identity as a couple and as a family.
Many of us vow, "Til death do us part," but how many of us have
any inkling of what that parting may mean?
More than 900,000 Americans a year face the death of a spouse.
These numbers do not include those who lose partners they have not
legally wed, but who may be just as central in their lives.
The experience of losing a partner is not easily defined. It impacts
people differently at different times in their lives. Factors that
affect how a person reacts to a partner's death include whether:
the death is expected;
the surviving partner is in a phase of life in which many of
his peers also face the death of a partner;
whether the relationship is satisfying and enriching or unsatisfying
and prone to conflict.
These books have been recommended by people in therapy facing
a partner's death:
A Grief Observed, by C. S. Lewis
Letting Go, by Melanie Beatty
When a Lifemate Dies: Stories of Love, Loss, and Healing, edited
by S. Heinleins, G. Brumett, and J. Tibbals
Chicago's Transitions Bookstore reports that the following books
have been especially helpful to their readers facing a partner's
death:
The Grief Recovery Handbook: The Action Program for Moving Beyond
Death, Divorce, and Other Losses, by John W. James and Russell
Friedman
How to Survive the Loss of a Love, by Melba Colgrove, Harold
Bloomfield, and Peter McWilliams
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