The "Curse" of Perfection

Questions for Parents

If you can keep the culture's idealized image of parenthood out of the picture, what is most important to each of you in raising your child?
What do you or could you and your partner each contribute to what is important to you?
What do you know about yourself and your partner that makes you confident that this could happen or could continue to happen?
What do you hope to protect and nurture in your own relationship?
How have you been able to do that or how can you imagine doing that?
What have you appreciated already in your partner's parenting that you might not have predicted?

Questions for Grandparents

What do you most hope for in your relationship with your grandchild?
What has happened so far that contributes to that?
In establishing this relationship what have been the effects on your relationship with your child and his or her partner (if they have one)? Is that what you intended?
How might you get what you want with both your children and grandchildren?
What do you appreciate in your child as a parent? Does he or she know that?

Questions for Young Parents

What does being a parent at this particular time in your life offer that might not be available at other times?
If you keep the knowledge of this advantage in your awareness, how will that make a difference?
If you think about your whole life, are there important things that you are putting on hold? How can you keep dreams and plans of those things alive for your future?
Who supports and finds joy in your parenting at this time in your life? Does it make a difference to spend more time with them?

Questions for Single Adult Parents

If you think about yourself as a sole parent rather than a single parent what comes to light that you can appreciate about yourself?
What are the advantages of sole parenting?
What keeps these advantages hidden?
How is your family part of a larger community?
What does this connection contribute to your child?
What have you done to make this possible?