The "Curse" of Perfection

Solutions (Do's and Don'ts)

Here are some do's and don'ts that others have found helpful and not so helpful in their relationship.

Ten Do's

• Appreciate what you are doing well as a parent.

• Recognize that idealized versions of parenthood are idealized and not real.

• Develop your own priorities as a parent and focus on them.

• Appreciate what you are doing well as a parent.

• Recognize that although the culture supports a specific family constellation, there are alternatives that may be better for you and your child.

• At times when frustration colors your relationship with your child, remember that things will inevitably change as your child grows.

• Spend time with others who understand and support your situation.

• Take time for yourself and your relationships.

• Recognize that although others might make different choices about parenting, children do well in a variety of situations.

• If you are engaging in actions as a parent that may be harmful to your child, seek help.

Four Don'ts

• Don't compare yourself to others or to idealized images.

• Don't replay your worst moments over and over in your mind and take your best ones for granted.

• Don't assume that others know more about your child than you do.

• Don't compare your child's every action and rate of development to other children.