Understanding the Problem
Living with the Problem
Questions to Ask about Trauma and Abuse
Questions for Parents and Families When Facing Trauma and Abuse
More Questions about Trauma and Abuse
Case Study: A 16 Year Old Girl and Trauma
Teenagers and Self Harm: Some Questions to Ask Adults
Possibilities for Change
Helpful Therapeutic Approaches
Single Adults and Self Harm
When a Partner is Harming Herself
Questions About Trauma and Abuse for Single Women
Fresh Perspectives on Trauma and Abuse
Trauma Do's and Dont's
Audio Workshops

Trauma and Abuse

Solutions (do's and don'ts)

Ten Do's

  • Examine your attitudes about body shape, dieting and fat prejudice. You may have unknowingly internalized ideas which exacerbate a desire for thinness.

  • Nourish yourself and your relationships with those you care about.

  • Challenge old stories about who you are as a person, daughter, friend, worker etc. that don't fit with who you believe you are and where your life is going.

  • Be sure that images of successful females are included in school curriculum and other sources - without such images, girls are left with predominant media definitions of thinness as a primary means of success for females.

  • Be aware that there are many societal pressures which support the notion that females and, to a lesser degree males, are valued more for how they look above any other quality.

  • Beware of unrealistic standards which are impossible to achieve.

  • Be aware that perfection is an unachievable goal and will always leave you feeling less than.

  • Know that dieting can appear as if it is a good way to "get in control" of one's life but dieting is never, ever successful and can set the stage for an eating disorder.

  • Make a commitment to educating boys about the various forms of violence against women, including weightism, and their responsibilities for preventing it.

  • Examine the ways in which your beliefs, attitudes and behaviors about your body and the bodies of others have been shaped by the forces of weightism and sexism.

Ten Don'ts

  • Don't let exercise becoming "torturcize"

  • Don't let the ways of dieting and regimented exercise can sneak into your life.

  • Don't put your child on a diet or exercise program.

  • Don't let your child's school, your home, cottage, office become sites for promoting items (posters, books, contests) that endorse the cultural ideal of thinness.

  • Don't allow discussions regarding food, calories, fatness, shape be dominant in your conversations.

  • Don't get into thinking about food as "good" or "bad". Food has no moral value - people are neither good nor bad based on their food choices

  • Don't let numbers rule your life - stop counting and measuring calories, fat grams, weight, and stop worrying about your dress, pant size, and breast size, and stop counting how many sit ups/push ups and miles you have walked.

  • Don't let trauma and bulimia isolate you.

  • Don't negatively compare yourself.

  • Don't believe you are trauma and bulimia's special subject - eating disorders treat everyone with the same brutality.